If you’ve ever been to the SF Bay Area, Reader, you know we have this thing called False Summer in March and April. The temp jumps up to the mid-80s, and we all have to break out the tank tops and fans for a few days.

All of mine are generally from the Men's section of Target (or were). Mainly because they’re long and go up to my collar bone. And now that I think about it, they sorta remind me of the very first “big girl” swimsuit I ever had when I was 13-ish.

You see, Reader, when I was in the 8th grade, puberty hit me like a truck. I grew 7 1/2 inches, and well, let’s just say I was busty. Like super busty. Like 36C busty.

Which on a tween is…less than ideal. Especially on a girl that’s more interested in cartoons and plushies than boys and kissing.

So given my bustiness, a little girl one-piece wasn’t going to cut it like, AT ALL.

So my mom compromised with a halter top and boy short combo. You know, the ones that tie at the throat and come up to your collarbone. It was super cute and made out of soft velveteen.

I loved it. Except the tie had a bad habit of getting caught in my long hair.

Now during Spring Break that year, me and my friends had gone to the water park for the grand opening of their wave pool. And I was talking to what my friends deemed to be “a cute boy” (for the record, I’m demisexual, so I can’t confirm if he was or not 🤷🏻‍♀️).

While we were talking, I noticed my swimsuit’s tie had gotten caught in my hair. And I was just trying to pull it free at the exact moment the wave hit my back.

The suit top broke, launched over his head, and was never seen again.

Yes, I 100% had to go purchase a new swim top while holding my hands over my chest like a clamshell bra. 🫣

Now, no matter how bad you think things are, it will never be THAT bad.

Nothing will ever be as embarrassing as…

A tween girl flashing hundreds of people in a water park.

Or letting a giant wooden horse through your city gates.

Or…texting war plans in emojis to a journalist.

But if you’re still dreading letting another human look at your stories…

Here are 3 scientifically proven ways to conquer self-doubt:

1) Reframing

It might sound silly, but calling a “test” a puzzle can actually diminish the pressure and anxiety, according to Stanford psychologist and author Gregory Walton.

So instead of setting out to “write a novel or book,” try just writing a story. And instead of writing chapters try writing by scenes instead.

Simple little mind shifts like this helped me when I was suffering a creative block back in 2019. I then went on to write 75K in one month.

2) Look to the Ordinary Instead of the Extraordinary

Aiming too high can make a goal seem that much more impossible. Likewise, comparing oneself to the 1% of mega blockbuster storytellers out there can make the whole endeavor feel hopeless.

If you absolutely must compare yourself to someone, choose someone like you.

Someone who has the same challenges, whose craft is at the same level, and who’s at the same point in their career.

Luck can’t be replicated. Hard work and practice can.

3) Rational Spiraling

Instead of doom spiraling from questions like “Can I do this?” and “Do I belong here?” Or trying to shove them out of your thoughts entirely, rationally address them.

Ask yourself honestly: Can you do this…right now? Or is your story idea a bit too ambitious?

Sometimes your story idea is too advanced for the skills you currently have. And that’s okay.

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer. Or that you should give up. And it definitely doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be doing this.

It merely means that maybe it would be healthier for your mental well-being if you shelved that idea for now and tried something a bit easier.

Like starting a game on Beginner instead of Legendary.

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Well, Reader, I hope these 3 tips help you the next time you’re suffering from self-doubt. And if you need a little boost, there’s this:

Until next time, Reader, this is your friendly neighborhood storytelling Kat wishing you a wonderfully creative week.

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Your cohort in storytelling,

Kat Vancil

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PS 👉 Want to read Dr. Gregory Walton’s article in the Stanford Report? You can here.

Dr. Walton also has a book on conquering self-doubt through small mind shifts called Ordinary Magic: The Science of How We Can Achieve Big Change with Small Acts​

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Jeff Fajans, PhD - Creative Performance & Leadership Coach | The Psychology of Creative Work Stop Procrastinating. Experience More Flow. Amplify Your Motivation. Upgrade Your Personal Operating System. Sign up to receive strategies, tools, and frameworks to accelerate your creative momentum on your most important creative, entrepreneurial goals and reach your next level of creative success. Subscribe​

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