Just after the pandemic, I was with a bunch of my dance classmates at a farewell dinner for a friend. We’d all had a great meal and were waiting to pay when one of them bemoaned 😭
“Ugh. I should have asked for his number.”
“Whose number?” I asked.
“The server.”
“Which one? I can go ask for you,” I offered.
You see, I’m already married. And being autistic, I have zero ability to feel shame.
She perked right up. “The hot one.”
I looked around the burger restaurant (that’s since closed and been replaced by another burger restaurant), and I genuinely couldn’t tell which of the male staff she thought was the “hot one.”
Now, that isn’t to say I can’t judge human aesthetics. I went to art school after all. I do have a BFA in Illustration and Design. So I’ve stared at more naked humans than I can count. But—and go along with me on this one, Reader—when I look at humans I’m not intimately familiar with, I don’t feel anything. It’s like looking at paint on a wall.
Sure, I can make an educated guess based on my years of study and training in the arts on how one human might be considered more aesthetically pleasing than another. But if I have no attachment to them… Nothing. 🤷🏻♀️
And in this case, all the male waitstaff in the building looked equal to me.
Needless to say, my response of “Which one?” baffled everyone at the table. At first, they thought it was a joke. Until they realized I was serious. Then they couldn’t understand how I didn’t know which guy was “the hot one.”
And no amount of explaining seemed to help the situation either. 🤦🏻♀️
But that’s just life when you’re demisexual. 🖤🤍💜🩶
Because it wasn’t just that dinner.
It was my classmates in 7th grade gushing about the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC while I didn’t see the appeal at all. 😒 Because I thought their music was crap and the Spice Girls had better songs.
It was my friends in high school having crushes on celebs or boys they’d never even talked to. And I just couldn’t relate to that. 🫤
It was a lifetime of why did everyone feel something while I just…didn’t.
And then in my 30s I discovered That Awkward Magic!! An indie comic, where over the course of the story, Evan discovers he’s demisexual (and probably autistic too). And it was like one of those brain-exploding moments for me. 🤯
Because here was this character who felt—or more accurately didn’t feel—just like me. And then I met more people who were also just like me.
And isn’t that the most important thing about stories? To not only entertain us, but to help teach us something about ourselves along the way?
To make us feel less alone.
Less alien.
Less…other.
And so, Reader, if you’d like to have this sort of impact on a reader, I’ve got 5 ways to include queer characters in your next story. Because it’s Pride Month and representation matters.
1) Love IS Love
You could create a Fantasy story set in a queer-normative world in which the sexuality of the characters is neither an issue nor taboo in the story’s setting. This frees you up to instead focus solely on queer characters wielding magic like the badasses they are.
2) Questing Across the Rainbow
You could create a Fantasy or SciFi story in which the Legendary Characters just happen to be queer, but the main focus of the story isn’t their sexuality.
That isn’t to say their sexuality or gender can’t be an obstacle or a source of conflict in the story. Speculative Fiction is a great medium to discuss the important social issues that matter.
3) Everyone is Awesome
You could feature a diverse cast of queer characters to showcase the spectrum of hardships and challenges queer persons face each day. This will also allow the reader a greater range of characters they can identify with.
*You can also watch Heartstopper on Netflix.
4) A Journey of Self-discovery
You could create a story in any genre, from Contemporary to Fantasy, where the Legendary Characters discover their sexuality along the way.
Maybe they’re trying to survive an apocalypse or solve a murder. Or maybe they’re fighting in an intergalactic war or on a quest for a legendary relic. Whatever your story’s set-up, it’s that journey which finally leads them to discover who they truly are.
5) Team Up
Not a member of the queer community yourself, but want to feature more queer diversity in your fiction? You could team up with a queer author to ensure the characters you create are authentically and truthfully represented.
But whatever you choose to do, Reader, remember this: don’t just include queer characters for token diversity. Or worse, use bad stereotypes. Because representation matters. But bad representations hurt.
Well, until next time, this is your friendly neighborhood storytelling Kat wishing you a wonderfully creative week.
Your cohort in storytelling,
Kat Vancil
🐱
PS 👉 Over on my website, you can find dozens of curated lists of queer book & comic recommendations I’ve created to add to your TBR shelf.
Special Note: It goes without saying that autism is a spectrum and not everyone is exactly like me. Just because I don't feel certain emotions doesn’t mean the next autistic person you meet won’t.
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J.A. Helling, Storyteller
Science Fiction, Fantasy & Sapphic Pride 🏳️🌈
My Author Newsletter is titled Storyteller. I send limited emails to share about stories and genres, announce book launches and author events, and give special discounts! |
